In our last post we were discussing the four styles of parenting which are: authoritarian or disciplinarian, permissive or indulgent, and uninvolved. We will jump right into authoritarian or disciplinarian which is a parenting style described as parenting with strictness and very little negotiation. Punishment is usually the form reprimanding the child. Most parents with this style do very little listening and a lot of talking at the child and not to the child. This will eventually take the child’s self-esteem away and their ability to develop their voice.
Parents who apply authoritarian or disciplinarian style of raising their children often will implement rules without explaining to the child. This leaves room for misunderstanding and confusion for the child to understand why they are being corrected at times. Which means most of the communication is one way from the parent to the child.
This over time will affect the child’s emotional and social development because this style of parenting simply is not nurturing. Psychology teaches us that affection, interaction, and other social cues by parents support survival and healthy maturation for children.
Frequently, parents with this style of parenting are not flexible with rules, standards, and expectations which causes a lot of stress on anxiety for children. The expectations for parents with this style of bringing up children is high with very little room to compromise.
If this parenting style describes how you are raising your child(ren) it might be a good idea to have a talk with your spouse, partner, or the other parent and re-evaluate if this style of parenting is beneficial in the long run for you child(ren). Then have a heart to heart with your child to help them understand that you have been a bit too hard on them. This establishes accountability to your child and demonstrates how to admit being in error. Share with your child that as parents you plan to listen and apply more understanding to balance things out with your child(ren). Honesty and forgiveness go long way with kids. It also models for them how to rectify tough situations when we are wrong. These are small lessons with huge returns in their lives in character and decorum.
Is this your parenting style? What could you do to help balance this style to improve your parenting with your child(ren)?
(All information can be located from http://www.brighthorizons.com and http://www.psycologytoday.org)
“Healthy Living Begins with Healthy Thinking”
Joseph Briscoe
Life Coach