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The Uninvolved Parent

Have you notice with your parenting style that you may just allow your child to learn as they go. Others say, “Children need to explore or learn on their own”.  Others who study this like Amy Morin a License Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) wrote an article that calls this parenting style Uninvolved, (2018).  This style of is parenting is defined as a parent that provides little guidance, nurturing, and attention.

Parents that are uninvolved tend to give their children a lot of liberty and pretty much stay out to their child’s way. At times this is due to parents not knowing what to do, or just less interested in parenting, and or they have decided to parent this way. When was the last time you have asked your child where they have been after coming from outside? Do you ask about your child’s academic progress? Do you spend much time with your child? If you are not able to really answer these questions, then you might be an uninvolved parent.

Morin says that uninvolved parents often expect their children to learn on their own and raise themselves (2018). When it comes to meeting the child’s basic needs, the uninvolved parent does not devote much time into meeting their children’s basic needs. Which begins with communication and with this parenting style, it is limited.  Uninvolved parents do not engage in much conversation and interaction with their kids.  They are usually mentally distracted and focused on other matters pertaining to themselves.

There is often very little nurturing with children of uninvolved parents because they don’t know how to connect with their children. They honestly do not have the tools and skills to truly develop the relationship needed to meet their child’s emotional, social, and developmental needs.  With this parenting style there is very little expectation from their children. It is a very reactive style of parenting versus pro-active. Guidance is a way to help your child become aware of certain situations that may not be good for them. At times this can prevent the child from making the same mistakes. An uninvolved parent would not implement guidance, so the child will explore without any awareness of the consequences and the parent will then respond to the action and the result of it.  Versus, sitting their child down and talking with them about expectations that could keep them from making that mistake again.

Uninvolved parents are not always purposefully being neglectful.  Some of these parents could be dealing with a variety of ailments (e.g. disability, mental disorders, or even substance abuse).  These variables can play a large reason as to why the parent may have difficulty meeting their child’s basic needs consistently.  When it comes down to it with factors like work, paying bills, and managing a household; uninvolved parents are just overwhelmed. They do not know how to manage it all and raise their kids in a balance and consistent way that benefits the family. Unfortunately, kids that are raised in this type of environment are prone to struggle with self-esteem issues. Children of uninvolved parents tend to have difficulty with their academic performance in school which is coupled with behavior problems (i.e. acting out or socially isolated).

After reading this blog, if you think you might be an uninvolved parent it is important to get support. Talking with the school for academic support for your child is one way. Getting a life coach or therapist to work through some personal development to better deal with the baggage that gets in the way of living healthy.  Personal development with a coach or therapist will help with self-discovery and support inner resolve which can help the uninvolved parent gain some tools to improve their parenting style.

 

(www.verywellfamily.com and www.brighthorizons.com, 2018)

“Healthy Living Begins with Healthy Thinking”

Joseph Briscoe

Life Coach

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