It is the Christmas season, and this is known to be the most joyful time of year for some of us. Traveling to see family, gift giving, and celebrating one another is commonly what this time of year is known to be merry! But this time is also when singles connect, and divorcees make love connections with new potential partners to share their lives with.
We thought it would be nice to share with our readers some tendencies of dating and courtship. So that our readers that are deciding to love again will be more aware of the phases of social engagement based on the relationship expert, Alexis Nicole White.
The time frame of each phase is not absolute, but it does generally average about the time frame stated in this blog. So, lets just get right into it!
3-4 Months- we tend to show what we want the person to see which is called our persona. This is not who we really are under pressure and when we are grappling through stress or embarrassment. Your persona is showing people who you want them to see. This is your representative, an icon or type of image of how you want to be viewed. By 90 days or more this behavior will begin to fade away.
5-6 Months- we tend to let our walls down and loosen up on your persona and begin to show who you are during this time period. Usually, you start really seeing your partner or friend during this time. At this point it is important to ask more questions and cross thoughts to assess what you agree and disagree with another. What is major for you and what you both can agree are minimal. In addition, you begin to decipher feelings and where you feel the relationship stands.
7-9 Months- at this point of the relationship if it makes this far; we determine if we are going to invest in the relationship. Am I going to go all out with him or her in this thing? Or is this person wasting my time. Most of us have the signs and information we need at this amount of time when dating or courting someone. We tend to ignore what we see or fail to pay attention to what people tell us about themselves. Due to our emotional pain, lack of love and attention, and or stubbornness to what we think we see in others.
This causes many of us to miss this phase which allows you to choose. You choose to settle in the moment for what you really don’t want. Or long suffer a little and keep your standard so that inevitably you attract the partner you really want and have been wanting to connect with. Most of us will not admit it but most of us don’t know how to pick a partner. Its OK to use your parents, friends, and at times extended family or co-workers you trust. Usually another lens in your life can see things quicker and differently than you do. If your natural supports are overall emotionally healthy and you trust them why not listen to them about what they see in your potential partner or mate?
“Healthy Living Begins with Healthy Thinking”
Joseph Briscoe
Life Coach