Have you been cheated on in a relationship? You met what appears to be this nice man or woman only to find out that in the duration of the relationship their pattern of behavior changed. Or their work schedule as slightly shifted which is not normal. These are just a few examples that lead to the heart-breaking discovery that your partner or spouse is in another relationship with somebody else besides you.
This is an awful, hurtful, and in many cases embarrassing experience for the individual that was cheated on. The initial shock and dis-belief that comes over the individuals who are cheated on. The many thoughts that race through their heads playing back the lies told and the odd moments that they just could not place their finger on why did not feel right about what their partner said or behaved.
After the discovery and emotional circus that the receiving spouse or partner gets through, logic attempts to ease the pain by trying to make since and rationalize the reason for such hurtful and unexpected behavior. Then the question of centuries comes forth like CIA Agents interrogating a foreign terrorist because you have to know. “Why did you do it?” At this point a person in their hurt and emotional state needs to know the motive for this level of betrayal to the relationship.
Coaches Corner identified a resource article and we are going to use this article to discuss early life experiences that may indicate an increased probability to cheat. This will be a 5-part mini- series so make sure you stay locked in to each blog it just may help you avoid or see signs ahead of time before you have this gut wrenching experience many people encounter in relationships.
Charles University in Prague conducted a survey with 86 couples under the direction and research guidance of Jan Havlicek. In Havlicek’s research he found that boys look at their environment to learn what they can and can’t do. What they get rewarded for and what they are not rewarded for. Boys look to the world to discover what is appropriate and what they can get away with. Fathers are the primary source for boys to learn about what is good and ultimately what is bad. If a father or male authority figure was unfaithful and cheating when the boy is young. Then that increases the probability of that boy growing up and straying outside the home too.
The survey with the 86 couples provided some interesting information regarding this phenomenon of unfaithfulness. In a nut shell most of the time when men cheat it is due to sex. Men that cheat typically want sex, more of it, and with more partners. This is not for them being fed up or tired of their wives. On the other hand, when women stray from relationships when they are extremely dissatisfied with their relationship.
What can we take away from this information?
- This data provides grounds for growing couples to ask before marriage a little family history.
- Help individuals who cheat understand why they don’t know why they do it.
- This can help parents raise their boys with morals and values that encourage loyalty in relationships.
“Healthy Living Begins with Healthy Thinking”